Wednesday, 9 February 2011
The alphabet: a saga
Right now as you read these very words, you are unaware of the stories behind the characters that form them. I shall tell you their epic story (and I don't mean epic as in 'LOL Dave set fire to his pubes, it was EPIC XD' I mean Epic as in, A game of Thrones, folklore of old, the old spice guy, THAT kind of epic)
My story begins, as do most others, at the begininging...
A - The Alpha
Arbiter of all things awesome, Alpha stood from amongst the crowd of petty beta bitches. With humble beginnings, being used via apples to teach dumb fucking kids how to read, Alpha worked his way up the chain to become top dog, and now occupies all manner of awesome words such as 'Annihilation' 'Atom-bomb' and 'Ass-tastic'. Merely giving something an 'A' grade is a symbol of the best quality, a fitting tribute to the king of the alphabet (also named after the Alpha).
B- The Beta
Beta is the little bitch of the clan. Calling someone a beta is quite an insult, but if you get called a beta, you probably ARE a beta, and so you'll probably let it slide, thus confirming your beta status. Beta's history is mostly unknown. However, legend has it that after a cheating spree committed by Beta's girlfriend, he forgave her because "every time it happened I was drunk''. When he then contracted chlamydia just before being dumped, Beta's fate was sealed, and he was cursed to be a Beta forever...
C - Charles
Overall, Charles lived an average live. He worked a normal job, got married, had two children, and even took up writing as a hobby.
However, Charles had tourettes syndrome. Day to day, he could not stop himself to shout "COCK SUCKER'' or "CUNT FACE" or even "CANADIAN CLIT MUNCHER" whilst having dinner with his family. There are some who speculate that, since legends suggest he only showed symptoms specifically at dinner time with his family, it's possible Charles' tourettes were faked, and that he may have been the world's first recorded troll.
A.B,C is all I can do for now. I have the FLU god damn it, I need rest.....
I'll do more if you guys like this story. If not, then I respect your opinion (:D)