Last night I cried from laughter.
Let me recap - This friend of mine got absolutely wrecked by mixing beer and port into a large container (I admittedly tried his unusual concoction - I was not pleased), and within an hour of finishing it, was looking for prey to stalk.
Target acquired: Asian, approximately 5 foot 3 inches, 21 years old.
Let me tell you guys something. You may think you know what "Comedy" is having watched Anchorman, or Arrested development or whatever, but the truth is you have no idea what it is, until you see a tiny Japanese girl EXPLODE into venomous fury, screaming and frothing at the mouth because she was called "Short stuff" and then "Little Chinese dragon" .
I swear I almost died from asphyxiation through laughter, and drowning in my own tears.
That same night I was called "Passive aggressive" because I saw my flatmate was at home, (Do you Americans use this word, or do you prefer "Roomie"?) so I decided to slam every door in the flat for an hour when I got home at 3am. To be fair, he started this war by being very messy and having VERY loud gay sex in his room all the time. Seriously, I've never seen gay porn before, but just hearing it is enough for me to know I will be straight my entire life.
I hope you all have a great week, and remember very little of it.